That Drifting Excrement Was Way Too Meaningful! It's the Television Disappointments of the Past Year.

As we reflect on the television offerings of the recent year, a selection of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. From cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this love/hate follow-up? Plagued with dreadful scripts, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the final series started, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the final series. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the least of this drama's issues. The recipient of a very rare zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to begin enumerating the problems. The laughably leaden writing? The mind-numbing veneration of affluence and materialism? The seemingly deliberate parade of tropes? Acting so bad they felt borderline malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and never speak of this series again. However, a new season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and fatherly shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while failing to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any sympathy this series might evoke should be reserved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Of course we understood it was preposterous from the get-go: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which felt rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the degree to which she grinds the gears of certain performatively angry commentators, it’s almost tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee homemaking as deliberate provocations. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue come to life; a poster for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this three-part series opted not to say them. Rather, the experience was like consuming a sales brochure. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As players battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to live up to something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated with care. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lumbering from oddly jaunty, slightly stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.

Prime Target

We love the star … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a discovery that could destabilise society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies targeting – and eliminating – academics frankly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality renowned for sexual exploits as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who appeared to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.